Assessing Your Self Confidence – Innovator or Instigator? Winner or Whiner? Eagle or Pigeon?
Self-Confidence – Where’s Yours?
A conversation with a friend recently led me to ask a number of questions. Why do so many of us still continue to press on in the same dead-end job, exist in the same broken relationship, eating the same unhealthy foods, and ignoring every red flag until we hit a brick wall. Is it that we really don’t see the light of the oncoming train? Or are we just so lazy and complacent that we don’t exert the effort toward positive change until we are forced to? Why do so many of us continue to trot down a path that is unmistakably miserable? A path that clearly takes us away from our true destiny?
Self Reflection for Personal Growth and Self Confidence
Seeing myself and my actions in this newly Windex-ed mirror bothered me so much, that I had a conversation with a few of my other friends that were in these “questionable” situations. One friend gave me an answer that almost made me drive off the road. We were discussing his marital troubles and his efforts at resolving those issues. After acknowledging that after many years of unhappiness and the unlikelihood of ever attaining true happiness with his wife, I asked why would he even want to continue on in a miserable situation.
With a straight face, he said, “April, sometimes it’s not that we don’t know right from wrong, up from down, good from bad. We know that true happiness doesn’t come with owning houses, boats, cars and jewels or having a gorgeous wife. But we want to preserve this ideal image because of how we feel and who society thinks we are when we have these things. We reject true happiness for the facade dictated by society. Sometimes, it’s just more comfortable living a lie”. I think that a little self confidence is in order here. . .
As if that weren’t shocking enough, I had to ask something else. “What is it that keeps you interested in being with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be with you?” (After all, his wife had left to be with someone else.) I was expecting a diplomatic, selfless answer about the kids or holding on to the love they once had or even the common I’m too old to start over. I wasn’t prepared for the truth: “I would rather pretend to be in love and be safe than to risk the unknown.” Make that a double shot of self confidence at table 3!
Seriously! Since when is it “safe” to keep up a facade? This saddened me a great deal and to be perfectly honest, he lost hella cool points for this. Even more important was my realization that much of society feels the same way. You can tell this by an afternoon of people watching and this account has been repeated in some shape, form, or fashion by more friends, clients and colleagues than I care to admit. It is no secret that more than 80% of the employees in my workplace are not happy with their position. These assertions are not based on any formal research study, but who needs that when you can intuitively see the displeasure and feel the animosity as soon as you punch in?
Instinct tells you when people are not happy. People can pretend for only so long. Eventually, the real person will undoubtedly show up. The only problem with this is that folks have to know that they are pretending. Folks tend to gauge their actions by the actions of those around them. If all the sheep are headed toward the cliff, you figure you’re going in the right direction. Until you end up jumping along with everybody else, that is.
Self Confidence or Doing time?
“Before you can break out of prison, you must first realize that you are locked up” ~Anonymous
From the looks of it, not many people realize that they are locked up nor are they aware of a serious lack of self confidence. Isn’t this fitting, regardless of if we are confined to a physical, mental or emotional prison? I heard Dani Johnson say that people have traded their enthusiasm and sense of adventure for security and a guarantee. By yielding to others’ opinions, we have given up our opportunities at true happiness; settling for the first thing that comes along. Thanks to Steve Jobs, for his timely words. I am reminded that I have a choice in where I go, what I do, and most importantly, to find what truly makes me happy and SO DO YOU! Take back your life and set your course on your own schedule, in your own time and on your own terms. Visit us at Single Mom Maximum Leverage today to find out how.
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