Do You Have the Single Mom Look?

Yesterday was a good Mother’s Day in single mom land. Three generations gathering together over great food and fun in the sun, gave us all a chance to reflect, relate and revive the bonds between mothers and their children. Even the fuzzy family friend was cooperating while we made the rounds to spread our Mother’s Day cheer about the neighborhood. I was feeling really good when we returned home late yesterday evening and sat down to catch up on all of the online events. I scrolled through all of the Facebook well wishes of the holiday and was feeling downright elated until my mouse came to a screeching halt. 

Single Mom Suggestion! When you are trying to teach your young child to do a new thing, use a chart to document each time he accomplishes it. For example, on a chart with 20 squares, you can put a sticker on a square each time he does the new task.

The headline read, “Single Mom in Need? Not the Look.” The first question that popped into my mind, was “What’s a single mom supposed to look like?” Of course, I had to click and read further and was even more appalled at the first couple of sentences of the New York Times Fashion and Style article. The article was critiquing the attire of super model Linda Evangelista as she engaged in family court proceedings to gain the rightful child support she is due. The author goes on to say that Ms. Evangelista “missed the mark” if she attempted to portray a “woman wronged”. The author placed a price estimate on the single mom’s outfit of roughly $5,000. (Hello, she’s a SUPERMODEL!)

Single Mom Suggestion! Have your child become involved with after-school clubs, like sports. This will let your children learn social skills and develop their ability to make friends, both are important skills necessary throughout their lives.

It was right about the sentence where the author mused at Ms. Evangelista’s request for $46,000 in monthly child support “without troubling to dress like a cash-strapped matron.” It was at that point I knew I had to say something. There were so many things troubling about this article that it was difficult to know where to start. Why don’t we just start at the beginning, shall we? The first thing that struck me was the stereotype implied by the title of this article. Apparently, the author believes that there is a certain “look” to a single mom. Further reading gives one the impression that this “look” is that of a “cash-strapped matron,” which is hardly flattering by any stretch of the imagination.

Single Mom Suggestion! If you are expecting, don’t let yourself rush out and spend all of your money on expensive items for your child’s nursery. You can buy high-quality versions of these sorts of items at department stores.

Is it mandatory that single moms appear destitute and downtrodden n order to be granted child support? This means that the child support that should be enforced by the law is dependent upon how well a single mom “games the system,” rather than the fact that child support is the right of the child. The second issue I have with this title is that it also implies that single moms need to dress a certain way to ensure a favorable result in family court. Is the way to assure child support for your children simply dressing up to look like you need the money?

Single Mom Suggestion! Maintain a spousal relationship that is strong, loving, positive and respectful. What your child experiences from your relationship can be the guiding factor in the relationships your child will develop later in life.

Regardless of if a single mom is in dire straits or living the life of decadent luxury, isn’t the responsibility to support the child that of BOTH of his parents? Should single moms be penalized with denied child support if they work hard, struggle and accomplish wealth in their own right? If a single mom has the means on her own to support her children, does that relieve the father of his share of the responsibility of proper financial support for his child? The implication that a viable strategy during court proceedings might be to project the appearance of a “woman wronged” is a slap in the face of the 5.2 million moms who are due child support from dead beat dads. Whether or not this single mom was wronged is not the issue at all. The inference speaks to the notion that a mother seeking child support for her child is in fact a punishment for the father for leaving her.

Single Mom Suggestion! Don’t forget your child’s favorite toy, blanket, or stuffed animal when traveling. A vacation should be a fun and relaxing break for the family, but to a young child it may just seem like a disruption in their routine.

Is it just me, or is this taking a cheap shot at the single mom; insinuating that she is using her own child as a weapon of attack in a fit of vengeful, scornful rage? I don’t know about you, but most single moms I know don’t have time for such foolishness and just sincerely want the support their children deserve. The most disturbing problem with this article is the fact that the author is focused on the appearance of this single mom and not on the most important issue at hand: the child support this kid is due from his father.

Single Mom Suggestion! When traveling with a small child, try to keep the same bedtime and mealtime routines as you have at home. Children find travel stressful, the more so the younger they are.

Not once did the author mention the appearance or attire of the father, who happens to be a French businessman and billionaire CEO of a luxury French-goods conglomerate owning the brands Gucci and Yves St. Laurent. How did the issue become whether or not Ms. Evangelista needs the money to support her child?

Single Mom Suggestion! Although it is important to spend time with your kids, it is also important to take time for yourself. This helps you be yourself and a great parent too.

Regardless of if this single mom presented herself in posh apparel or a potato sack, it has nothing to do whatsoever with the fact that her son deserves this support from his father. Considering that he has not been involved with the boy for the first 5 years of his life (being too preoccupied with his new wife and kids and making up to 5 million dollars a year) a little child support is the absolute least he can do. What do you think? Is the author on track or out in left field? Read the full article here: Single Mom Look. Let us know on our Facebook page! Single Mom Weekly on Facebook!

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