Single Mom Help With Parenting – Are You Ruining Your Kids?
Single Mom Help with Parenting. Regardless of the way the title of Single Mom comes about, I think I can go out on a limb and say that 99.9% of single mothers only want the very best for their kids. This is a GOOD thing. . . most of the time. What do I mean? Well, sometimes single parents may want to provide things that are beyond their control in an attempt to make up for what they perceive to be lacking in these areas. Often, children may be given excessive gifts to make up for a lack of quality time. Or perhaps they are given more freedom than is good for them to make up for the latest electronic gadget.
Do I Need Help With Parenting?
Even though the intentions are good here, sometimes we don’t realize these actions are more to alleviate our guilt than to improve the lives of our children. Another overlooked possibility is that these practices can actually do harm to children’s character development and sense of independence. The role of a parent is to guide children in the right direction so that by the time they become young adults, they have been groomed to make sound decisions on their own. If children are given pacifiers in the form of food, excessive toys, and unearned privileges, in many cases, an unreasonable sense of entitlement is not far down the line.
Case in point, I had a debate today with a friend regarding parental roles in the lives of their young adult children. The offspring in question was approximately 21 years of age, living at home and held an entry level position in the hospitality industry. The child, while not belonging to my friend or me, provided a compelling example of how far such senses of entitlement can go. The young adult decided that college was not of interest and turned down a full scholarship to a local university. She took the entry level position that does not provide enough resources to sustain a basic single person household.
Do I Really Need Help With Parenting?
I understand that college is definitely not for everyone, but to turn down a full scholarship when you have no other education, skill set or experience to fall back on is, in my opinion, a very bad decision. Recent natural disasters destroyed the child’s only mode of transportation and the child did not have sufficient means or insurance to replace the vehicle. The question that turned into a debate between my friend and me was the decision of the parent to replace the vehicle. While we both agreed that based only on the facts of the current situation, it is the mom’s decision on whether or not to step in to help her child financially.
What became a sticking point was the history surrounding the child receiving financial help from her mom on an ongoing basis. My friend’s point was that since the mom had the means, there was no harm in helping her child out every once in a while. My contention was that the history of this parent-child relationship appeared more like the parent serving as an at-will ATM. I do not profess to be a child-rearing expert; however, many cases are obvious where the parent is being taken advantage of by their adult children.
Knowing When to Get Help With Parenting
Chances are, if you are spoiling your kids rotten you already know it. Are their manners slipping in talking with adults? Do they avoid sharing with others at all costs? Do they ignore your wishes and consistently take the path of least resistance? As kids grow up, the spoiled teen tends to become even more self absorbed. Talking back to authority becomes more frequent, self-discipline is non-existent and some kids may even become verbally and physically abusive to their siblings and parents. When kids get to the point where they are just not listening, it is time for action.
Seeking Help With Parenting
The first step is to make a decision to get your kid back on track. Next, be consistent with your expectations and discipline. Next, allow your child to resolve her own problems. Refrain from overindulgence with food, toys and privileges. Finally, get professional help with parenting if you begin to feel overwhelmed. Get help with parenting with just a few clicks of the mouse. Take our free assessment to find out where you stand.
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