Single Mom Help With Parenting – Putting Your Foot Down!
I think we all know a few grown, able- bodied folks who rely just a little too much on their aging parents for support. I believe that these themes are developed at an early age and the apron strings are just never cut soon enough, if at all. Just to be clear, we’re not talking about an occasional loan for gas or an outrageous light bill. We are talking about full blown sponsorship programs here. It is the cases like this that require the most help with parenting.
Generally speaking, things that people do not have to earn are not a highly valued. When things are freely given, it becomes more of an expectation or entitlement rather than an act of compassion and generosity that should be met with gratitude. I maintain that the child should have had to at least attempt to rectify her transportation woes on her own rather than sitting around pouting and waiting for a hand out from mom.
My friend became just a little irate when I did not agree that it was okay to simply step in and solve the adult child’s problems for her, regardless of the fact that she could not control a natural disaster. One of the best things we can do as parents is to admit when we have made a mistake and perhaps that we could use a little help with parenting. It takes more courage to admit the mistake and make strides to correct it, even if we have to deny ourselves the pleasure of doing for our children. It is much more important to realize that at some point, we will not be around to clean up our kids’ problems for them.
Wouldn’t it be far worse to know that we have left our children in this society ill-equipped to deal with adversity and personal challenge? How selfish and egotistical would it be for me to play the heroine in my kid’s life all the while not preparing her to embrace her own independence? I see it all the time. It makes for a population of young adults who only know how to deal with life by moving directly from one mother figure to another in the form of a wife or husband. Welcome to a major contributor to the 50% divorce rate. . .
Is It Time to Get Help With Parenting?
So what happened in the case study? Well, Mom bought the car free and clear and life is back to normal. My “debater” still did not see my point of view, but that is okay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and free to parent the way they see fit. I was more than a little curious because my friend, as intelligent as he is, refused to listen to any reasoning against “helping” the adult child out. It didn’t dawn on me until I was nearly finished writing this article why he was so determined to prove his point. To admit that there was any merit whatsoever to my point of view would be to acknowledge that excessively providing things that should be earned on one’s own can be considered enabling. It didn’t occur to me until later that he was doing the exact same thing to his son.
I don’t profess to be 100% right 100% of the time. Each parent-child relationship is unique in its own right. The only way to know of you could be enabling your child is to get help with parenting along with an assessment of your parenting skills before things get out of hand. Many times, parents can use a quick time-out for themselves in order to re-group when the tried and true methods of discipline just don’t work any longer. No one wants to be the poster child for the epitome of insanity. Therefore, if something isn’t working, try something different.
There is nothing wrong with getting a little help with parenting from the experts in the field. Don’t our kids deserve every opportunity to grow into health, mature, independent and prosperous adults? In order to give them this opportunity, we must acknowledge when things aren’t quite right. Learn some effective communication skills and new positive ways of parenting. Make every effort to catch them at their best in order to use positive reinforcement whenever you can. There are many ways to effectively discipline kids without alienating them. Check out our free assessment tool to find out how to get help with parenting.
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