Single Mom Weekly: A Single Mom Focus on Family, Finance, Fitness and Personal Fulfillment

Life on this planet is short and if you suffer from panic attacks and agoraphobia, I am betting that you have spent a lot of time in the house and very little exploring the joys that life has to offer. Let’s get you out into the world again! What do you gain from having panic attacks? What a ridiculous question this seems! Let’s take a deeper look though and see if any of these apply to you.

Agoraphobia and Anxiety Symptoms

Are you able to avoid being an empowered grown up and all the responsibilities and freedom that go with that? Do panic attacks enable you to be the controlling force in all the things your spouse or family do…even if it is a negative thing? Are you able to justify your lack of motivation or energy on panic attacks? What is your currency? What would get you moving again? What have you got that means more to you than panic attacks?

Let’s say that you won the lottery, started a new relationship, took a tropical holiday, would that get you moving again? What I am suggesting is that we all have a personal currency and what you need to find is something that is of more value to you than panic disorder. I was housebound with it for many years and my currency was getting a dog. I loved my new dog, Murphy, a great deal.

At first, I could only go a few feet from home with him before I would have to run back to the safety of my front door. He must have been very bewildered as to why he took such short walks when the other neighborhood dogs went around the park! As time went on, however, my love for this dog and his needs for a daily walk of substance became more important to me than the panic.

I remember reading once about a man who was housebound with panic attacks. He and his wife had tried all sorts of therapy but with no success. Finally, his wife packed a suitcase and called a taxi. While she waited for the taxi, she told her husband that she had no choice but to leave him as her own health was suffering from his panic disorder. 

When he saw that he was about to lose the wife he adored, he jumped into the taxi beside her and never looked back. They went on to a new life that was panic free because he realized that she was more important to him than the panic. In his future, whenever he felt panic coming on, he let it do its worst and quickly lost the fear of the sensations of fear.

Agoraphobia and Anxiety Strategies

I am in no way suggesting that leaving your spouse or family is the way to manipulate a spouse to get over panic disorder. I am only pointing out that we all have a currency that works better for us than panic disorder. Do you have an orange in the house? When we over breathe (hyperventilate), we can bring on a panic attack. We tend to breathe from high up in our chest and breathe in a shallow rhythm. Lie down on the floor and place the orange about belly button height.

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Now practice breathing slowly and at an even pace from your diaphragm. As you watch the orange move slowly, up and down, up and down, you will know that you are doing this exercise correctly. This tip alone will cut down your panic attacks. Practice, practice, practice! You are better off cold than hot if you have panic disorder. Studies have proven this.

Invest in a personal cooler that fills with water and sprays a fine cold mist around your neck or wrist. Another way to feel cool is to always carry mints with you. When you feel a panic attack coming on, chew several of them. The burst of cooling mint will ease the panic. Another tool is to carry a small freezer gel block, the sort that you would use for a cooler. If you feel hot and about to panic, place the block wherever it will soothe and cool you. It works!

Watch out for the second fear. When we feel a panic attack coming on, if we let it whoosh through us, it will go quite quickly. It is when we add a second fear, such as,

“Oh, no, what’s going to happen next?”

or

” I can’t stop it! I’m going to make a fool of myself in front of these people”.

or

“What if I pass out?”

These second and third and fourth fears are what give the panic attack more energy. Rather, sit or stand quietly, try to make your mind blank, breathe slowly and rhythmically, and the panic attack will go away. It is the fear of the sensations of fear that keep us bound. Once your brain sees that you do not attach undue importance to these feelings, it will stop trying to protect you by going into the fight or flight mode. Of course, we want this protection if a hungry lion is sitting beside us but we don’t usually need it when we are standing in a line at the grocery store!

What we focus on, expands. If we fill our mind with negative or frightening images, that is what our mind will hold on to. Focus instead on happy and uplifting things. Re-evaluate the movies, magazines and video games you play. Focus on seeing yourself panic free.  Where would you like to see yourself panic free, on the beach watching the clouds roll by, playing games with your children or grandchildren, watching their happy faces? Your imagination can transport you anywhere and is better than any television or movie. Practice day dreaming scenes where you are panic free and enjoying yourself.

It might be hard at first but please persevere. Your life is too precious to waste in panic attacks. If you can’t imagine being panic free just yet, imagine being in beautiful surroundings, having a mild panic attack that goes quickly. When you see that it’s gone, quickly return to having fun again in your day dream. Are you eating well? Most panic attack sufferers could improve their diet but often lack the energy to cook. Easy peasy! Start the day with a delicious, nutrient packed smoothie. Most supermarkets will deliver the ingredients to your door or ask a friend to shop for you.

Each morning, put in one cup of milk, one scoop of protein powder, (vanilla or fruit flavor), a cup of frozen berries or other frozen fruit and a vitamin capsule with the outer case removed. Blend it all together. You will find that the frozen fruit will thicken it so it is like ice cream. Ice cream with nutrition, that is! This tip will set you up for the day and make it less likely that you will have a panic attack. Do you know that millions of people around the world suffer with panic attacks and agoraphobia? Bet you do. Do you also know that many can recover completely using these tips? Give them a try. You may well be the next.

June Steed is a caring and experienced life coach located in Western Canada. She coaches worldwide by phone, email or Skype. Her special expertise is in helping those who suffer with panic attacks, and housebound agoraphobia. She will also coach the housebound live, on their cell phone, as they venture out from the safety of their home. Compassionate and dedicated to her clients’ success, she can be contacted at her websitehttp://www.junesteedlifecoach.com on Twitter as @JuneSLifeCoach or at junesteedlifecoach on Facebook.

Recognizing a Troubled Teenager

I say that because Jamie Hubley did not die of “natural causes”.  He died after taking his own life. The 10th grade blogger documented his unbearable struggles with depression and bullying resulting largely  from being the only openly gay teen in his high school.  Those close to Jamie knew of the daily challenges he faced. “You fought a hard battle, doing things most kids wouldn’t ever have the guts to do. You were brave, and strong and I admire you so much for everything you’ve done. You went through stuff that no kid should ever have to face in their lifetime, but somehow through all the hardships you still shone at school … You left a big footprint in everyone’s heart, and you will always be remembered,” wrote one student.  . 

Jamie Hubley – A Troubled Teenager

Even at the young age of 15, Jamie made a concerted effort to assuage the sadnessess of those around him. He could not, however, completely hide his disdain for those who were unable or unwilling to return the favor. After reading just a handful of Jamie’s entries on Tumblr, the cries for help were unmistakable.  How such obvious grief and turmoil was missed is beyond comprehension.  This young man’s death really struck a chord with us here at Single Mom Weekly.  Single motherhood comes with so many responsibilities that it is often easy to overlook the signs and symptoms of our loved ones’ personal struggles. A troubled teenager in our lives will often find it difficult to communicate how they are feeling and when they truly need our help. 

According to the NIH, for every one suicide death, there are an estimated 11 suicide attempts.  It is important to know the signs and symptoms of anyone who might be considering ending their own life.  (NIH Publication No. 06-4594)

Troubled Teenager Risk Factors for Suicide

• One or more prior suicide attempts
• Family history of mental disorder or substance abuse
• Family history of suicide
• Family violence
• Physical or sexual abuse
• Chronic physical illness or pain
• Keeping firearms in the home

The many responsibilities of single parenthood can often overwhelm the most efficient multi-tasker.  The time and energy needed to successfully support a depressed child can often devastate the delicate balance of a single parent family.  In order to prevent neglect of the other aspects of your family and household, here are some tips to keep in mind to help maintain a holistic focus on your troubled teenager.

Maintain an honest and open family relationship – While your instincts may be to shelter other siblings and family members from the pain and anxieties of your depressed family member, remember that children can sense when something is wrong.  Being open and honest about what is going on can not only help any hidden thoughts of guilt, but can empower your children to help their sibling by showing support in their own way.  In addition, encouraging everyone to share their thoughts and feelings can also help uncover any similar thoughts in other children.

Consider Needs of Healthy Children- When there is a major fire, our impulse is the focus all of our efforts on putting it out.  However, there are often embers smoldering in other areas that are kept at bay by proper balancing.  The depression of one family member can often ignite the stress and anxiety in others so remember to  keep a close eye on the siblings and troubled teenager to maintain as much balance within the household as possible.

Seek Out Single Parent Support Systems – Even in a two parent family, parents can become overwhelmed maintaining a household during a crisis situation.  This pressure is increased exponentially in a single parent household.  Remember to seek out and maintain single parents support systems to help with stressful situations.  Sometimes, simply talking with an understanding friend or family member can reduce stress and anxiety. Read on to get help with improving communication skills to better related to your troubled teenager,

Resist Finger Pointing- Maintaining a positive outlook in an otherwise scary and tumultuous situation can often be very difficult.  Resist blaming yourself or others since doing so will only cause additional stress to an already pressurized situation.  The primary focus should be on restoring normalcy and moving toward a positive, healthy future for your troubled teenager and your entire family.

Remember How to Schedule Self-care- while taking care of loved ones is the priority for the single mom, you can’t forget to take care of yourself even in the face of adversity.  The first order of business is making sure you maintain your good physical and mental health so that you provide the needed support for your troubled teenager and the rest of your family.

Warning Signs of a Troubled Teenager thinking about Suicide

• Talking or joking about committing suicide.
• Engaging in reckless behavior or having a lot of accidents resulting in injury.
• Writing stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide.
• Speaking positively about death or romanticizing dying (“If I died, people might love me more”).
• Saying things like, “I’d be better off dead,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “There’s no way out.”
• Giving away prized possessions.
• Saying goodbye to friends and family as if for good.
• Physical harm to self, i.e. cutting
• Seeking out weapons, pills, or other ways to kill themselves.
• Reprinted with permission from Helpguide.org © 2001-2010. All rights reserved. For more information, visit www.Helpguide.org

The death of Jamie Hubley could have been prevented.  In the words of Gay Rights Activist, Jeremy Dias, “gay youth often feel different from their peers, which can increase feelings of loneliness.

He said despite the name of the “It Gets Better” initiative, “things don’t just magically get better. Things are made better. And Jamie said it so clearly in his messages, that he can’t wait for things to just get better, that we as a community have to decide to make things better.”Read more: http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Canada/20111017/jamie-hubley-teen-suicide-111017/#ixzz1bA7zlwKB

“Jamie is free of his pain now and there is a new angel,” Allan Hubley said, “but we have paid too high a price.” Let’s do our part to set better examples for our youth of tolerance and inclusion. If we all make an effort, we as a community can make things better for troubled teenagers and all kids. Join us in leaving messages of support in Jamie’s honor on his Facebook Memorial Page.

Stay connected to your troubled teenager by learning more at http://RaiseYourFamilyIQ.com. 

What Causes Workplace Bullying?

There are many different factors which can cause workplace bullying.  While none of these are 100% definite, they are circumstances which contribute to workplace abuse.  

Corporate Restructuring – In many cases, termed “leveraging of resources”, significant changes in the organizational structure can trigger a great deal of animosity at all levels of the workplace.  Anger and bitterness resulting from promotions or demotions, whether fair or not, often cause ill-will.  This does not justify workplace bullying but it is a frequent indicator of a potential for targeted workplace abuse. 

Employee Status or Characteristics – Employees with different identifying characteristics such as age, gender, race, intern or apprentice status, parental status, marital status, sexual orientation, color, religion or disability are often indicators of common bullying targets. 

Workplace Relationships – Employees who may have good personal relationships within their workgroup can easily be targeted by those who do not.  Likewise, employees who have tenuous relationships with supervisors or managers may be targeted by others as a weak link. In another scenario, recent corporate level organizational changes may contribute to an overall morale decline in the workplace.  Employees or even managers may feel pressured to justify their positions by targeting employees in attempts to safeguard their employment.

How Workplace Bullying Affects Employees

In many cases, people spend more time in the workplace than they do with their own families.  With this in mind, the issue of workplace bullying is twofold.  The relationships in both the workplace and the personal life are negatively affected.  The target of abuse may experience physical, emotional, psychological and mental effects up to and including:

• PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
• Family member stress and strain
• Depression/Low Self-Esteem
• GI (Gastrointestinal) Problems
• Financial Problems resulting from multiple absences
• Headaches and musculoskeletal problems
• Financial problems from increased medication costs

Workplace bullying takes a toll on everyone.  Single moms can especially feel the pressure of added workplace stress with the many responsibilities of single motherhood.  Make life easier by effectively maintaining the relationships that matter most.  In order to avoid further stress, read on to learn how to Minimize the Physical Signs of Stress.  Keep in mind that in all likelihood, the perpetrators will not stop.  Start now and protect your livilihood by establishing a Plan B today.  Get Single Mom Maximum Leverage and take back control of your family’s future.

You have got to know what type of juicer does what.  Determine what your uses for a juicer will be before making a purchase.  Take a moment to familiarize yourself with these basic concepts in order to make the right choice for you and your family.

The masticating juicer grinds fruits and vegetables to extract the juice.  It  grinds and then presses the juice from the pulp.  It is a little more fexible than the centrifugal juicers and is good for making sauces and baby foods. The Champion homogenizes or mixes to make things like peanut butter and other types of nut butters, baby foods and  creamy desserts.  This juicer is typically bulkier than most juicers and is available in a consumer or commercial version. 

A twin gear juicer uses inter-meshing stainless steel twin gears to squeeze and press fruits and vegetables.  It operates at less than 200 RPM so nutrient value is high and the effective squeezing by twin gears produces highest yield. The twin gear juicer, such as the Greenstar Elite, will juice all fruits and vegetables including the highly desireable wheatgrass and leafy greens. It also makes little work of pasta, nut butters and frozen fruit desserts.  These juicers are also of the larger and heavier variety of projuicers.  They do have numerous parts which can make cleaning a challenge after each use. Thetwin gear juicers is typically the projuicer of choice by  raw food enthusiasts because of the high yield and the high nutrient concentration of the resulting product.

The centrifugal juicer is generally user friendly and has a large chute to minimize chopping before juicing. It also can be easier to clean than other types of projuicers.  Ejection type centrifugal juicers separate the pulp from the juice by expelling the pulp into an external container. With this type of centrifugal juicer, you can juice to your heart’s content without stopping for periodic cleanings of the mesh.  The non-ejecting centrifugal juicer is a little different.  The spinning mesh basket holds the pulp while the juice is “spun” from the basket.  This can create clogs after a while so cleaning may be needed if you a juicing large quantities of product for your family.   Good yield, but slightly less than the standard centrifugal juicers.  Both types of the centrifugal juicers are relatively easy to clean but will not juice wheatgrass. 

Now that you have a better idea of the different types of juciers, take a minute to look at a few of the best projuicers in the industry.

Breast Cancer Awareness

Breast cancer is one of the most common forms of cancer to affect women and men at any age. Since its reach is widespread, cancer awareness is very important in order to assist women in identifying the initial signs and symptoms of cancer. This is important as there is currently a 96% survival rate if breast cancer is diagnosed and treated early. However, there are more than 40,000 women who succumb to breast cancer on an annual basis. This indicates that in these unfortunate circumstances, there is not enough awareness of the importance of self breast exams. Breast cancer awareness bracelets are one very simple means by which health care providers can spread the word and increase breast cancer awareness. In addition, other consumer products just as tote bags, t-shirts and other novelty items are very visible reminders of the ongoing battle against breast cancer.

Breast Cancer Awareness Bracelets

There are numerous means by which groups of women and men who support the breast cancer awareness cause. Onesuch means is by the annual race for a cure and breast cancer awareness which is sponsored by the Susan B. Komen Foundation. This event promotes breast cancer awareness and increases the visibility of breast cancer awareness information by way of t-shirts, breast cancer awareness bracelets and other paraphernalia which support the cause.

Join the Cause!

Join the Cause!

In the United States, many women are already aware of this disease as well as its distressing effect on many personal lives of those who develop breast cancer and the people who care for them. However, in spite of the growing awareness, of the positive benefits of early detection, many women still fail to include a breast cancer screening as part of their routine physical assessments. This is yet another reason to incorporate reminder items such as breast cancer awareness bracelets into the consumer base. The more often people are reminded of a concept the more comfortable they grow with the idea. By performing monthly self checks, irregularities or lumps may be detected in the early stages of breast cancer and early diagnosis can be properly confirmed by a physician. Women should encourage each other to undergo regular testing and to report any and all suspicious breast abnormalities to their physician. Maintaining your health is important for moms and grandmoms who want to be there as their children grow into adulthood.Don’t allow breast cancer to rob you you and your loved ones of precious life time.
To find out more information on how you can increase your Breast Cancer Awareness, check out our Breast Cancer Awareness page. Click the link to get your very own breast cancer awareness bracelets and other item. Join the cause today!

At Your Service,
April Storm

Make it Stop!

We have all been there. The dog won’t stop barking, the kids are tearing up the house, dinner is burning on the stove, the phone and door bell are ringing, the pet fish is missing and there is a suspiciously fishy smell coming from the couch. Well, if you know what I’m talking about, then you also know that Calgon is not gonna just come and take you away and the single mom benefits you thought of are a distant memory. The perils of single parenting not only include many responsibilities, but these responsibilities are often handled under very stressful and high pressure situations.

Exhausted

One of the challenges for many in dealing with single mom stress is to vent those pressures in an appropriate and constructive manner. Many single moms and people in general, tend to keep these feelings bottled up inside to the point where they become symptomatic. Such single mom stress symptoms may include unwarranted pessimism, an overly critical outlook, crying, sadness, fatigue, sleeplessness, angry outbursts, back and neck pain, overeating, lack of focus and in some cases, depression. In addition, not properly addressing these symptoms can eventually lead to child abuse. Since we are all here to help each other and our children to lead happier, healthier lives, why don’t we explore some ways in which we can redirect our single mom stress into more positive channels? And then turn these stressful situations into a single mom benefit!

Take a Deep Breath

Before lashing out or responding in the heat of the moment, take a minute to do some deep

Discouraged

breathing exercises. If the situation is too far gone, sometimes it is best to just walk away and gather your thoughts before proceeding. By giving yourself time away from the situation, you are in a better position to determine how to deal appropriately with the problem instead of saying something or doing something that will do irreparable damage to your relationship with your child.

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare and Did I say Prepare?

If you repeatedly deal with troublesome behavior or situations on a daily basis, in your downtime, think of different ways of handling them when they come up again. Rehearse your responses in your head and keep trying a new strategy until you find one that works. Draw on your single parents support network to find out how they may have dealt with the same problems. This will alleviate a lot of frustration for you as you will have an arsenal of tactics ready to deal with predictable problems.

Get Rid of Clutter

Clutter is one of the known contributory factors of stress. Try to maintain an orderly living area and your personal space. The whole house need not be spotless, but orderly is a must. If your children are old enough, have them to help out by taking responsibility for keeping their toys not in use put away. Use positive reinforcement as much as possible and be firm in accountability when children are disobedient. Getting children in the routine of taking responsibility for their actions will minimize stress for you as there will be no question about the rewards or consequences of their behaviors.

Take a Time Out

Life is not just running from one task to the other, rinsing and repeating. Life is to be enjoyed and taken in at a leisurely pace when possible. Sometimes, we have to make sure we pencil in plenty of self-care time. Just a few minutes to meditate while the kids are watching television, or a quick stroll down the block to walk the family pet can do wonders for countering a rough day. One of the best single mom benefits is that you are the adult that gets to call all the shots. So when you need a time out, everybody gets a time out! For more information on single mom benefits and tips, subscribe to our weekly newsletter, Single Mom Weekly. Other benefits and resources can be found at AskWendyWebb.com and a little Retail Therapy never hurts!

At Your Service,

April Storm